We asked people who are going through therapy and treatment for traumatic stress disorders for advice and tips on how others can support them.
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Traumatic Stress Service
Advice for Friends & Families
Here are some helpful tips about ways to help support your family member or friend as they go through their therapy. The ideas are from some of our clients who have finished their therapy and found this advice helpful to them.
However, everybody approaches their therapy differently, and needs different support, so some points may be more relevant to your family member or friend than others.
Top Tips
Ask the person how you can best help them.
Take time to listen.
Try to be compassionate and understanding.
Try to be encouraging but don't pressure someone into doing or discussing something they don’t want to do, or aren’t ready to do yet.
Give the person space.
Let the person make their own decisions.
Sometimes the person may not want to talk and may need some time alone.
Therapy can take time so don’t expect miracles or big changes to happen quickly.
Ask them whether they would be happy for you to know what the signs are that they are having a flashback, such as suddenly becoming quiet and withdrawn or not responding when people speak to them. You could ask ‘how will the people that know you best know that you are having a flashback?”
Be careful about approaching or touching the person when they are having a flashback or are feeling distressed as this can sometimes make things worse.
If the person is hyperventilating (breathing in very rapid shallow breaths) or look as though they may be having a panic attack, help them to calm by giving reassurance and encouraging the person to take deep breaths, and gradually slow down by holding each breath for a second or two before exhaling.
Support them to use grounding techniques they have learned in their therapy sessions.
If they have just come out of a therapy session they may not want to talk about it afterwards, as one can often feel worse straight after.